May 15, 2017 7:32pm

Earlier in the day when I was trying to decide what I wanted for dinner, I figured I might as well go to the meatball shoppe. I call it the meatball store. I had forgotten about the barbecue food truck until I got an automated email from my apartment manager, and decided to get that instead. Later, I got another email saying that the food truck was going to be postponed until tomorrow, so I decided to go to the meatball store after all.

I wanted to call my order ahead so I didn’t have to wait, but they didn’t pick up the phone any of the seven times I called. Between calls I thought of rude but unoriginal things to say, like “why have your phone number posted if you don’t pick it up?” or “do you guys not take call ahead orders?” I figured I probably wouldn’t say anything, but I wanted something prepared if I changed my mind.

I got more and more frustrated as I got downtown because I accidentally passed several good spots and had to park on the second level of the parking deck. I decided I would definitely say something snarky. I thought about telling my friends I was going to boycott the restaurant for not picking up the phone. I wondered if that was something I would actually do, since I like this place so much and this is so minor. There’s only one place that I boycott; I should probably add more. When I got to the door, I saw a sign that said they were closed today for routine maintenance. As I walked away, I wondered if punching a stranger would help regulate my emotions.

When I got back in the car, I decided to go to the deli and get a turkey croissant. I thought about just going home and having cereal, but I wanted something hot. By the time I got to the deli, I was very hungry and upset. I ordered the same thing I got the last time I came here, when I felt weird for asking about the cookies. I didn’t feel weird this time, but the cookie also wasn’t as good.

May 10, 2017 9:15pm

I stood in line reading the menu, trying to find the chicken tenders. I knew I could just say I wanted an order of chicken tenders, but I wanted to know what the exact menu item was. I hadn’t planned on getting food, but the only thing I’d had since lunch was Target brand Metamucil.

I saw a sandwich that had parmesan-crusted fried chicken breast, Ameri-Swiss cheese, jalapenos, 1000 island, lettuce, tomato, and olive tapenade. I decided to order that but without the last three things. It came with house chips. When I got back to the table, I saw my friends’ orders of chicken tenders and wondered if mine was going to come with barbecue sauce. They didn’t ask me which sauce I wanted. I like barbecue sauce, but I would’ve asked for honey mustard.

As I watched my friends eat their chicken tenders, I got very anxious anticipating my order of chicken tenders. When my sandwich was sat down in front of me, I got as excited as I had when I first saw it on the menu. It tasted so good. I wanted to trade the chips it came with for a third half. The chips didn’t come with any dipping sauce, and I wish they had. The only other person who didn’t get chicken tenders got garlic knots, and I scooped a chip through the butter/grease/parmesan collection at the bottom of her basket. Someone said it was going to be like nachos. I said I regretted doing it. I crumpled the rest of the chips up in the paper that lined the basket and stacked it in an empty chicken tender basket to free up space on the table.

May 9, 2017 1:22pm

I went to a different Cookout than the one I went to a few months ago. This one was closer. It was in a part of town I’ve never gone to before. This one had inside dining and only one drive-thru lane. I’ve never been to a Cookout with only one drive-thru lane. The speaker was too loud though, like the rest of the Cookouts I’ve been to. I ordered a barbecue sandwich tray with the coleslaw on the side. This is the first time I’ve gotten it on the side and not asked for it to be left off completely. I got a corn dog and chicken quesadilla for the sides and a sweet tea with no ice. I always bet with myself whether or not my tea will actually come out with no ice. I thought today it would have ice. It didn’t and I was glad. Sometimes I still think of the time I tried to order a gallon of tea from McDonald’s and the cashier told me they were out so she gave me three 32oz drink cups of tea, including ice, because they were the same price ($3 + tax). I was furious but also too shy to explain how wrong that was and how it was hardly an appropriate replacement for what I’d wanted. This was about six or seven years ago and I still get irritated.

May 8, 2017 10:51pm

I listened to music as I toasted some bacon and buttermilk pancake flavored English muffins. I got a new iPod because my old one was lost and then stolen on Saturday. I know this because I called the restaurant where I thought I left it and they said they had it, then when I went to get it they told me they had given it to someone else already. It was infuriating. I don’t like the new one as much, but that could also be because I’m still bitter about losing the first one. I noticed the new one has Bluetooth. I am really happy about this because I had to use the aux cord with my old one on my Bluetooth speaker and the remote control wouldn’t work with the aux cord. Now that I think about it, I don’t know that the old iPod didn’t have Bluetooth. I wish I could check. I wish I had checked before. Why wouldn’t I have checked for that? I’ve had that speaker for about a year and I never even thought about it. I didn’t have anything Bluetooth before the speaker, so I didn’t need to check for it until then. I just assumed it didn’t have it. Maybe I did check? A website I found on Google says 2nd generation and forward had Bluetooth, and I’m pretty sure that’s the version I had. I hate that I’ll never know for sure.

May 7, 2017 3:25pm

When I woke up on the couch this afternoon, I checked my phone and saw a message from my friend asking if I still wanted to go shopping. My hair was greasy and I was still wearing the same clothes from yesterday, but I wanted to do more with my day than just this. I asked if she had eaten or wanted to get food, and she said that would be good. I washed my face and changed my shirt and was putting on some makeup when she arrived. She said she didn’t know how I did my eyebrows until now and I told her that I used to be worried about people knowing I filled them in, even though it was obvious I was wearing makeup on other parts of my face. This was before the dramatic eyebrows that are popular now were in style.

At the restaurant, I saw they had a special on Saturdays and Sundays called the Macho Burrito. I never get burritos, but this one looked good and I wanted to get something different. When I gave my order to the waiter, he said that I should probably get the smaller size that’s not listed on the menu. He said the regular Macho Burrito is probably enough for two people. My friend told him that she used to get this burrito all the time and was never offered another size. The waiter said it’s because it’s considered a down-sell and that they’re encouraged not to do it. My friend ordered her food and asked for some ranchero sauce to go with it. The waiter suggested another type of sauce he thought she might like. I hadn’t looked at the sauce list and asked for my menu back so I could see if there were any other salsas I wanted. The waiter then said that my burrito comes with the hottest salsa they make, and he suggested that I get something else. I like spicy food, so I was put off that he thought I might think this was too spicy. If it was someone I knew, I might appreciate the advice, but this guy doesn’t know how spicy I like my salsas. He also doesn’t know how much burrito I can eat.

When the food came, I was surprised by the burrito. This burrito was seriously so small. It was adorable. I wish I had taken a photo. It was phenomenal though. Also the salsa wasn’t really all that spicy, but it was delicious too. I told my friend that I should say something petty, like how I was still hungry after I finished my food, and she told me I should. I didn’t say anything, but when the waiter tried to take my plate away while I was still scooping the little side of lettuce, tomatoes, and jalapenos up with chips, I had to tell him I was still working on it.

May 2, 2017 7:50am

I ordered rapid pick-up from Panera while sitting in traffic. I went inside to pick it up and a guy sitting at a table outside said, “hey pretty lady.” When I left, he said something to me that I couldn’t understand. I said “I’m sorry?” He repeated himself, but it was still mumbled. I said “what?” He said it a third time and I realized he’d asked me for $2. I wondered why he wanted such a specific amount. When I got to work and ate the food, I realized there was no chocolate in my mocha, making it a latte. The last time I’d ordered this, the sandwich didn’t have any egg on it like it was supposed to.

April 28, 2017 10:01pm

My ex came to town but he wasn’t feeling very well. I ate leftovers from lunch that I knew he would like, but he didn’t want a bite. I wanted to go out because I had bought a cute outfit earlier that day and wanted to wear it. We went downtown to a place that has “global street food.” I got a thing that was like southwestern crab rangoon. He got poke and kept saying it wrong even after I told him how to pronounce it. When we got home, we sat on the couch and fell asleep. We woke up at 6:00 the next morning and went to bed.

April 9, 2017 12:24pm

I was waiting at Panera and wondering where to pick up my mocha. Every time I order a mocha from any Panera, the cashier asks, “cafe mocha?” They spell it with two Fs, like “caffe,” but I don’t. A man walked up to the pick-up counter and looked in my bag, then kept his hand on it like how you keep your hand on your drink or something. The employee said it was for me and the guy turned around and I waved at him. The man tried to hand it to me but the employee said it wasn’t ready yet. A different employee put my mocha beside the bag and the man handed both items to me.