April 7, 2017 12:34pm

I didn’t bring lunch today, so I had to go out to get something to eat. I went to a busy part of town where it’s hard to find parking at this time of day. I parked in the Harris Teeter parking lot because I thought I was going to the Panera Bread in the same area, but then I saw a Vietnamese/Chinese restaurant with “banh” in the name. I hoped people didn’t get mad at me when they saw me park at Harris Teeter and then leave. I bet people do it all the time. I got excited about the restaurant because I thought they’d have banh mis, but they didn’t and I was disappointed. I went next door to Chubby’s Tacos and got chicken tinga tacos instead. The first restaurant is a small, local place, and I hope they’re doing okay.

April 6, 2017 6:26pm

I looked online for light food because I felt like I’ve been eating too much pork lately. I found a list of the 1,080 best restaurants in my city and a deli I really like was number 666. I thought that was rad. I thought 1,080 was a weird number for a list of best restaurants.

I found a deli not too far away and called an order ahead. I ordered a turkey sandwich on a croissant with fries and a chocolate chip cookie. When I asked the person on the phone about their cookies, I felt really lame and childish. I don’t know why.

On the way back to my car with my food, I felt lonely and wished I had a roommate. I prefer not having one, but at that moment I thought I’d rather go back home and have someone there.

March 17, 2017 6:54pm

I felt like everyone was looking at me when I walked toward the restaurant. I wondered if I looked cool. I wondered if I looked hot. I wondered if I looked drunk. These people are cooler than me because they all have plans with friends on a Friday night. Also today is St. Patrick’s Day. I did have two different Tinder matches invite me out, but I said no.

On the way home I thought of my ex and how I told him I hoped he’d never be happy. I hoped he didn’t tell his friends I said that, because it sounds kind of crazy. What I meant was I don’t think he is capable of being happy and I want to be right about that.

When I got out of the car, I accidentally looped the carabiner on my keychain around the handles of the to-go bag. I had to hold the bag up to the door to get the key in the lock. Baba wasn’t waiting at the door for me.

February 17, 2017 6:07pm

I went to Relish to get a sandwich and grits. While I was waiting in line, I looked at the candles for sale on a bookshelf in the lobby. The brand was called “Unwined” and the rosé one smelled so good. When I went to pay, my total was $34. I asked how much the candle was and the cashier told me it was $24. I told her I won’t be able to buy the candle today, but what I meant was I won’t be able to buy the candle ever.

February 14, 2017 6:30pm

When I pulled into the parking lot, I saw that there was a food truck. I didn’t remember getting an email about it, and there hadn’t been a menu posted in the elevator. I thought about going, but I really needed to cook the other half of the chicken I prepped last night. I was already worried that it got too warm because I didn’t put it away soon enough. I cooked it anyway and it turned out okay.

January 24, 2017 6:13pm

I came in to put my stuff down and pet Baba, then left for the food truck. I could hear him meowing all the way down the hall. I hope he doesn’t do that every time I leave. I wonder how long he does it. The food truck guy asked for my order and I told him I wanted a burger with lettuce, tomato, and tzatziki sauce on it. He asked if I was sure and I told him I thought so. He said something else and the girl ahead of me who’d already ordered said I can have it that way if I want. The three of us went back and forth a few more times about how I should be allowed to order my food how I want even if it’s weird. I didn’t think it was that weird. Mayonnaise is much weirder than tzatziki.

The guy behind me ordered a chicken gyro and pronounced it “jy-ro.” The girl behind him also pronounced it that way. I live in a major city with a good bit of diversity, people who live here should know how to pronounce gyro in 2017.

I checked my mail on the way back and didn’t hear the cat. When I opened the door, he was on the bookcase and I scolded him. The burger was very good with the sauce on it.

January 20, 2017 7:57pm

I ate leftover cheeseball with crackers while watching Cape Fear. I’d wanted to see it for a while and saw that it was on Netflix. I’m not a fan of Juliette Lewis, but liked her weird interactions with Robert De Niro’s character. I liked how weird the movie was. I did not like that there was a character named Leigh and one named Lee. I wanted someone to talk about the movie with, but no one else I know has seen it.

January 4, 2017 6:08pm

I was in line behind one of the old guys from the landing at the barbecue food truck. The owner thought the guy had ordered two of the same meal and had plated double. The woman who was second in line had a large McDonald’s cup in her hand. I thought we were wearing the same boots but they were actually different. She ordered a plate and a thing of banana pudding then said to me, “I’m going full fat tonight and getting dessert.”

When it was my turn to order, the owner gave me a free bowl of Brunswick stew that he had plated for the first guy. He told me he was sure I was going to love it. I also asked for a small cup or bowl to put some ketchup in; I am out and keep forgetting to buy some. He gave me a few of those little mouthwash cups and told me to also take some of a certain other sauce, that it was great on fries and hush puppies. The sauce tasted so familiar, but I couldn’t place it. I ate all of the food I ordered and put the stew in the refrigerator for the next day. Maybe I’d take it to lunch in case the chicken fried rice I was also planning to bring wasn’t enough.

Later that night, I told my friends I couldn’t come to trivia as planned because I was too full and had also been fighting a cold all week. I decided to take a shower and go to bed early. In the shower I started coughing, which triggered my gag reflex and I threw up all the food. I tried to stop but it was so gross that it made me sick and I threw up even more. I was worried it would clog my drain, but it didn’t. I felt better afterwards and was able to go to sleep without feeling sick.